Before Letting Go
by twyxdust
Summary: I'm not really good at summaries. this takes place after the series, and is told on Wolfram's point of view as he contemplates his feelings for Yuuri. please read and review. thanks
1. Chapter 1

author's note: the story can also be found in my livejournal (username: twyxdust). comments/suggestions/reviews are very welcome.

* * *

"Yuuri. Can we talk?" 

"Can it wait until later? Flynn is waiting for me outside and I'm sort of running late…"

He fixes his uniform and checks his reflection at the mirror. I walk to him and straightened out his collar, raising my head to look him at the eyes.

He stares back at me surprised, flinching slightly, his uneasiness very obvious. Usually, I would scowl at him and comment at how he should be used to me being that close to him. After all, I am his fiancé.

This time, however, I stepped back and looked away.

"Err.. I'll be back in a few minutes, Wolfram. But right now, I just have to go. See you later. "

He runs out the door and all I can do is follow him with my eyes.

_See you later._

Flynn-san is showing him around the castle grounds, and they will walk together, side by side.

There are no enemies in this side of the human territory. No need for a body guard. No need for me. It felt awful. A lot more awful than being in a ship in a stormy sea.

--------

How do I even say this? Where do I begin?

"Yuuri. We should talk. As you are very much aware, I am your fiancé and I think we should spend more time together. I think I'm really, truly in love with you and I want to know if you feel the same way."

No. I don't even know how to respond if he says "Sorry, Wolfram but I just don't feel the same way. Flynn-san, on the other hand…."

_NO._

"Yuuri. I'm your fiancé and I think we should talk."

No. Too pushy.

"Yuuri!!!" (with a tight hug)

Definitely not. What if he freaks out and runs away? Will he even let me run after him?

Maybe I can just lock him in a room, tie him in a chair. Force him to talk to me.

Then again, maybe not. He might go Maou mode and then we'll both be in trouble.

Where do I begin?

_Yuuri, do you want me to let you go?_

-----

It was a bit after sunset when Flynn-san and Yuuri got back at the castle.

They were happy, obviously. I didn't even have to see them to know, I can hear their laughter echoing down the halls.

Why the hell did I leave the door open?

I wanted to close the door shut. Maybe set it to flames it for added effect. Make the people panic, disrupt whatever conversation Yuuri and Flynn was having.

And I was about to do so, too, when Conrad suddenly appeared in my door, blocking my path.

"Wolfram, you do know that we are in human territory. Using majutsu here will only weaken you."

_Of course I know. _"What do you want?"

"Flynn-san requested that all of us be present for the farewell dinner, since we're going to leave tomorrow for Shin Makoku."

"I'll be there."

And I close the door in Conrad's face but not before I see his face break in a subtle, knowing smile.

God I hate that smile.

-------

I remember the first time I've felt it. It was at that time when Shin Makoku was opened to the rest of the world, even welcoming the humans who, before Yuuri's reign as the Maou, wouldn't even think of stepping in to Mazoku territory.

The tournament was about to start. I wanted Yuuri to watch and I was looking for him in the castle grounds.

I found him soon enough, he was talking to Flynn in the garden. Usually, I would have rushed to his side and dragged him away but there was something in the way they were talking to each other, the way Flynn looked at Yuuri and how Yuuri returned the gaze. I just realized then that my hands felt cold and I couldn't move at all. I couldn't look away. I was just standing there, watching them.

"Hurts, doesn't it?"

Startled, I look at the direction of the voice. It was Adelbert.

"I don't know what you're referring to," I said calmly, as I started to walk away.

"...You know, kid? Sometimes, you just have to learn _when_ to let go."

"How dare you?!" I turned at him sharply, my hand reaching for my sword.

What I saw next caught me in surprise. If I didn't know any better, I'd think Adelbert was looking at me with sympathy in his eyes.

The dinner was uneventful.

Yuuri was closely following each and every word of Flynn-san, as if her words were from Shinou. Flynn-san was oblivious to the other beings in the room, humans and mazoku alike. She only has eyes for the Maou, grinning and blushing like a little girl. Conrad was smiling knowingly (with the smile that I hate so much.) Gunter was fawning over Yuuri, as usual.

On my way to this dreadful dinner, I heard the maidservants whispering to each other in the hall:

"Yuuri-sama and Flynn-sama look good together ne?"

"I know!! It would be good if they get married one day, it would the definitely unite the Mazoku and the humans!"

Had I not been taught of restraint, I would have slashed them and burned them to the ground.

For Flynn-san, however, I have other _special_ plans.

I wanted to push her off a cliff. Have a flock of kohis follow her around just to drive her crazy. Slap her face with a cactus. Steal a dragon egg and leave it in her room for the mother to find.

I could think of a hundred more ways to torture her, to hurt her, to wipe that annoyingly awful grin off her face.

I want to, but I can't.

I look at the end of the table and I see Yuuri, sitting there, smiling.

_I want to, but I can't._


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Wolfram, wait up!"

It's Yuuri, and I'm certain that Conrad is following him. I contemplated if I should walk faster, pretend that I didn't hear him but then I saw Conrad's smile in my mind and I just had to stop at my tracks.

I hate that half-human.

"Flynn-san said something last night about… Wolfram, are you alright?" Yuuri said, catching up on me.

"Yes." I said softly. "Of course I am."

_Why wouldn't I be?_

I cleared my throat, "Yuuri, you were saying?"

We continued to walk towards the ship. Dozens of crates were being boarded by our soldiers. Several people were stopping whatever they were doing to wave at Yuuri.

"You know, maybe I can bring you some of that tablets for dizziness from Earth. It might work on your seasickness."

Typical of Yuuri to be so dense.

"Anyway, Flynn said something about a cave with bear bees near here, but she wasn't sure if they were really bear bees. Her description of them fits perfectly though. Pink, big and huggable and with wings. You want to check them out?"

"Bear bees, huh?" I said to no one in particular. Yuuri was exchanging small talk with some of the humans.

"Bear bees are a rare species, as I've told you before, they might be the ones you witnessed hatching back in Blood Pledge Castle. You should go see them, you being the fathers and all."

I turn to Conrad, searching for what he means to say but to no avail. The knowing smile was impenetrable. I really hate him for that.

"So? What do you think?"

I look at Yuuri and he was smiling eagerly like a child and I found myself nodding a yes.

_Of course I'll come with you. As long as you wanted me to._

"Sure. They're still loading our stuff anyway. We have time left to explore that cave of yours."

Sometimes I have a hard time believing that this child became our King. But it turns out he was exactly what Shin Makoku needed, what this world needed. He came at the most perfect time and saved this world from a definite destruction.

At times, though, I'd like to think that he came to save me.

------

Soon we were on our horses on our way to this so called cave of bear bees. I wonder if Flynn-san would be there at the entrance of the cave, eagerly waiting for her Maou. She would show us around the cave, with that annoying grin in her face, she would hold Yuuri's hands and…

"Wolfram? Is everything okay?"

"I've told you a hundred times, I'm okay, all right? Just quit asking me."

"Fine. I was just… concerned. You just seem different lately."

"People change. You wimp," I muttered angrily as I urged my horse to go faster.

I almost regretted saying such cold words. I know Yuuri meant well. But every time I think of Yuuri and Flynn together, I couldn't help myself. Just the thought of them makes my blood boil.

"Wolfram, hey wait up!"

It's at times like this that I wish Conrad was with us. He'd think of a way to change the topic, make the atmosphere a little friendlier. Sadly, Conrad decided to stay behind and overlook the boarding of the cargoes. Gifts from the humans were pouring in, an expression of gratitude to Yuuri and Shin Makoku for the aid that was given to them. Yuuri wanted to give them back but Gunter said that returning gifts that were offered in good will would be an informal way of breaking the alliance and that's the last thing that Yuuri wanted.

The rest of our travel was silent and we reached the cave eventually. Thank heavens Flynn wasn't there. Even if I can't use majutsu here, I doubt that I can restrain myself from stabbing her.

"Seems safe enough. Shall we go inside?" I asked Yuuri as I finished tying up the horses. I turn around to look at him, waiting for his reply.

It was noon and the sun was too bright, but at that moment, I am almost sure that something was different when Yuuri smiled at me.

-----

"We're lost aren't we?"

We've been passing the same rock formation at least five times now.

Yuuri turned to me, his shoulders slumped in defeat. I sighed in exasperation and went ahead to lead the way.

"I can't believe that you didn't even get a map of this cave from Flynn or from that butler of hers. I mean, surely, they'd have the area documented in some way or another."

"Well, now that you mention it, I feel a little stupid for not asking them." Yuuri said with a shrug and a laugh.

Honestly, how could one stay annoyed at such a stupid person for a long time?

"Don't worry, we'll find a way out. And I'm sure Conrad will send out a search party for us when we don't go back in time. Meanwhile, we can just go forward and take that left we saw a while ago. I felt some sort of breeze from there and I think we'll find anoth- …."

_What the-?!_

"WOLFRAM!!!"

I really don't know how it happened. I remember the ground disappearing under my feet. I remember falling down.. Down... I remember reaching out my hands frantically for something_, anything, _to hold on to.

The last I saw was Yuuri reaching out to me. I stretched my arms and tried to grab his hand.

His eyes showed panic.

------

_I can't believe this._

"You really are a wimp."

"I'm sorry."

_SORRY WON'T GET YOU OUT OF HERE!_

"I was trying to save you!"

….

"..Did I say that out loud?"

Yuuri smiled, looking a bit relaxed, "Yes, you did."

"You should have let me fall and tried to figure a way out of the cave on your own, and then return with help. That's what normal people would do." I tried to stand up but the pain from my right leg was unbearable. _It must have been at least twenty feet_, I thought as I look up from where we've been a few moments ago.

Yuuri actually dived in after me and landed on my back. It would have been funny if my leg didn't hurt as much.

"Don't try to stand up. Let me carry you on my back."

I looked at him doubtfully, with an eyebrow raised.

He, however, looked determined. "I can carry you on my back, you're not that heavy anyway."

"All right, all right. Not like I have a choice. But are you sure you're uninjured?"

"Of course, I've had too much falls and dives from my years of baseball training, I  
haven't got a scratch on me!" he said, kneeling down with his back at me.

"…That's because you landed on _me._"

"Hahaha. Yeah, well. That, too."

I smiled as I eased on his back.

"Wolfram..?"

"Yeah?"

"Let me do the saving this time," he said.

I couldn't think of anything else to say to that.


	3. Chapter 3

_Save me, huh?_

I'm a Mazoku. With a wave of my hand, I can will the powers of fire and its full force is at my control. In an instant, I can call down the very depths of hell upon any unfortunate being and my enemies are at my mercy.

I am a trained soldier. A soldier who would do my duty, committed and resolute. I will not tremble. I dare not to fear. I live, and will die, for Shin Makoku. For its inhabitants, for its King.

However, unlike soldiers who crave for blood, I have never liked wars. I hate the thought of people leaving their homes, fighting in some faraway place - never sure if they will see their family again. What of the mothers and fathers, wives and children they left behind?

During the war, I've seen Gwendal leave with a hundred soldiers and return with so few, their eyes tainted with the consequences of war and I know that they will never be the same again. I've seen Conrad leave one night and return at dawn covered in blood, and he was barely breathing.

In front of her advisors and the rest of Shin Makoku, Mother stands strong, her spirit unwavering. During their absence, Mother was weeping. She'd wipe her tears when she sees me so I learned to pretend that she was okay.

After all, she is the Maou.

I've stayed behind to complete my training for most of the duration of the war. _One day, it will be my turn to protect Shin Makoku. I'll keep it safe. And maybe, hopefully, there will be peace_, I would tell myself as I look at the horizon, knowing that somewhere out there, a Mazoku soldier was fighting and dying with the same promise.

I sounded so young then, I wonder how I sounded to others. Will the soldiers under me even follow my command when my own voice betrays my feelings?

The war went on and on. Soon my chance to serve Shin Makoku came. For a while, we were winning. Most of the time, we weren't so lucky. Of the fifty soldiers I was with when I left Blood Pledge Castle, only three returned with me alive. Death, I soon learned, was not as glorious as it sounded in history books.

As I drive my sword into an enemy, I would get a glimpse of the young Wolfram who thought that peace was possible and I would shake my head in realization at how naïve I've been. I've seen my own unit turn into raging, merciless monsters in front of humans begging for their lives. They would reason that humans don't need our mercy, they never provided them for Mazokus who became prisoners of war.

Often times I would find myself consumed in such fury and only after I've seen the extent of my rampage when I look down on my blood-stained hands and my clothes covered with the blood of my enemies and of my own, do I ask myself, now that we've saved Shin Makoku, who will save us from ourselves?

The war ended, but the screams and the cries of the dying and the dead echoed on. I never thought it would truly end.

I never thought it was possible, until Yuuri came.

Gradually, the skies became bluer as if it knew that blood is no longer spilled in the ground. Little by little, the scent of death that for years has haunted Shin Makoku faded. Soon, I heard again my own voice saying that there will be peace and I no longer thought that it was a silly, childish belief.

------

"So where to now?"

There were two possible routes in front of us. None offers an obvious way out.

"Left, I guess?"

"Wolfram, you have to do better than that!! We might be stuck in here forever!!"

"Why don't you choose then, Your Majesty, since your knowledge infinitely exceeds mine." I replied in a sarcastic tone.

"Not calling me wimp anymore?" Yuuri replied with a chuckle, to my surprise. "Then let's go left."

"…."

"Wolfram… Let's play a game. I'm getting kind of bored. We'll take turns asking questions and the other person is required to answer, no matter what. Are you up to it?"

I can't see Yuuri's face and from his voice, I can't tell if he was serious or not, but the game seemed harmless so I decided to play along. At least talking lessens the awkward moments. I'm not exactly thrilled with burdening Yuuri with my weight.

"Sure. Who's going first?"

"What's your favorite color?" he asked, glancing at me.

"Blue. What's yours?" I look at the cave walls, there was something in his glance that I find… uncomfortable.

"Red. Sometimes, black. Your favorite time of the day?"

_Anytime I'm at your side_. "Mornings, an hour or so after sunrise. You?"

"How original of you. You should think of your own questions Wolfram," he said lightheartedly.

"Fine. Sand bears or goalas?"

"Sand bears."

"….Hey, Yuuri, it's your turn," I reminded him after a period of silence.

"What was it you want to talk about yesterday?"

"What?" I asked, a little surprised.

"Yesterday, before I went out with Flynn, you said you wanted to talk to me. What was it about?"

He stopped walking, let me down slowly and sat beside me.

"Let's take a rest for a while," Yuuri replied to my puzzled look. "So? What was it about?"

"I forgot already. A kohi or a bear bee?" I asked, dismissing the topic. I have no intention of talking about _that_ here.

"A bear bee, definitely. Do you want to… Do you have anything to say to me?"

"What? Other than you're being a lot weirder and weirder by the minute? No. I don't have anything to say to you, Your Majesty."

"Oh… All right..." He stares down at his hands. "It's just that Conrad was saying something this morning…."

"That half-human…" I muttered. I am going to let him have a piece of my mind when we get out of here.

"And Flynn-san, too, you know," Yuuri went on, looking at me. "She was saying that you don't seem very well since we arrived here and she was really worried. She even recommended this herb that they were growing. I hear it helps with seasickness… Wolfram?"

The cold, paralyzing sensation again. Why is this happening?

"You can tell Flynn-san that I am doing very well and that I'd ask for her assistance if I need it," I replied, sounding more mocking than I meant to. There was a lump in my throat and something inside me hurts - and I'm certain that it was not from the fall.

"She's just concerned with you, it's the same with Conra-"

"Yeah I'm sure," I stood up unsteadily. The pain in my leg seemed numb.

"Wolfram!"

I closed my eyes hard and tried to block out his voice. I just want to dissolve into thin air. Run away from Yuuri. Make the pain disappear.

_Sometimes you have to learn when to let go._

"What's wrong with you? Sit down and rest that leg, you'll injure it even more," Yuuri said, rushing to my side.

"I'm renouncing the engagement," I said slowly.

Yuuri stared at me, his mouth open in shock. "What?"

_Please don't make me repeat what I said._

"You look stupid, Yuuri. It's just a stupid engagement anyway, an unplanned, unintentional proposal from a person who is a stranger to Mazoku tradition. And it's time that I set you free from that," I replied, but I can't even recognize my own voice.

"Is that what you really want?"

_NO._"Is this still part of the game?"

"What? No, it's not but..."

"Then I don't have to answer that."

----

I finally had the chance to talk to him and I renounced our engagement.

Nice going, Wolfram.


	4. Chapter 4

We walked on after that, with Yuuri supporting my weight on my right side. No other words were exchanged aside from the occasional "Yeah. Let's go right." or "I think we should go in here." or "Sure."

The silence was deafening. But what else could we talk about?

"..Yuuri?" I asked when he stopped all of a sudden.

"I hear something," He said. I couldn't see his eyes.

I kept quiet and tuned in to any sound that breaks the silence in the cave. At first it was an indistinct sound, something from my imagination. It was coming from the ceiling high above us. After some time, I could tell what it was. Or more precisely, who it was.

"It's Conrad!" Yuuri exclaimed. He must be really relieved that he'll be able to get out of this God-forsaken cave.

"We should try to get his attention….. HEY CONRAD!! WE'RE DOWN HERE!!"

"CONRAD!!"

Little rocks fell from above and then a burst of sun light.

"Your Majesty, Wolfram. I'm glad you're all right," he said, as he looked from Yuuri and then at me.

When our eyes met, his expression changed and he smiled, sadly and genuinely with understanding. Was I that predictable? This time, though, I didn't hate him.

This time, I wanted to cry.

----

Conrad came prepared to rescue the Maou. He was able to assemble a lift and in no time we were above the ground.

Yuuri seemed unfazed from what happened. Shortly afterwards, he was the one consoling a crying Gunter. Flynn-san was more than willing to accept the blame for what happened, as was her butler and a dozen more humans. Yuuri seemed back to normal, as if nothing had happened.

As for me, I felt like I've never gotten out of the cave.

------

We were just waiting for the last crate to board the ship when Flynn-san approached me on deck.

"A quick sniff should be enough I think. I hope it helps," she said with a wink, handing me a small bottle with tiny yellow leaves inside.

"Thank you, Flynn-san," I said. She looked so sincere, I felt disgusted with myself.

"You didn't ask him properly, didn't you?"

I looked up at her, bewildered.

She leaned forward and squinted her eyes, as if examining me so thoroughly that I had to step back.

"Or rather, you didn't ask him at all? And all along, I thought that it would work."

I was at loss for words. What the hell is she talking about?

"All aboard!" Our ship captain called out.

As I turn to look back at Flynn-san, she was already getting off the ship.

"What do you mean by that?" I called out to her back.

She turned around and motioned to the upper deck.

"Ask him!" She called back, as the ship's horn sounded deafeningly.

I looked up at the upper deck and there was Yuuri, standing there, his hands resting on the handrails, gazing at me, with a look I couldn't really read.

He looked away and stepped back to where I could no longer see him.

I wanted to call out his name, ask him what was wrong, comfort him, assure him that everything will be all right.

But I stopped myself from saying anything because I realized that I already lost that right, the moment I renounced our engagement.


	5. Chapter 5

_What the hell am I doing? Just knock on the door, damn it_.

Don't you dare! He may be asleep already!

_What if he's not?_

So yeah, I'll knock on the door, and he'll open it and then what? Stare? Stutter like a complete fool that I actually am (but I wanted to appear otherwise)?

_I don't think so, _I finally decided, ending the argument with myself. (I wonder how many people talk to themselves like this? Or have I finally gone crazy?)

I heave a sigh and leaned my head to the door.

_Yuuri, Yuuri… What have I done? _I whisper, with my eyes closed. It would have been great if I was able to tell that to him personally, and not to this inanimate door. This just shows how brave I am in these kinds of situation.

If it was a Hojutsu user from Big Shimaron, it would have been a lot easier. If it was a Soushu-controlled doll, I would be having the time of my life.

But this is Yuuri, who happened to be ignoring me, for the whole time we've been back to Shin Makoku.

Somehow I just feel utterly... helpless.

"I thought I assigned someone else for the guard duty tonight."

I almost died from the shock.

"Brother!" I managed to say in the most reprimanding manner a whisper can get. "What are you doing here?!"

I look at Gwendal's right. _If I can walk fast enough thru there, I can avoid talking to him… or maybe I can just back away slowly… pretend that I was just on my way..._

"I was about to ask you the same thing, Wolfram."

The crease in the forehead is unmistakable. There's no escape now.

"I was just checking…"

"With your head?"

"I was _resting my head_," I replied thru gritted teeth.

"I see… Resting your head to the door of His Majesty's room...? Hardly what I expect you'd be doing during this hour." He countered with an eyebrow raised and a mocking tone.

I will not play this game. I glared at him and turned to leave.

"Here!" Gwendal called to me, tossing a couple of yarns and a knitting kit.

"And what do you suppose I do with this?" I asked, annoyed.

"Knit. What else?" He answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

----

It was night and the air seemed a bit colder than usual.

Or maybe I'm not just used to my own bed. It seemed like a long time ago when I slept in the same bed with Yuuri.

I stood up, taking the yarns that Gwendal gave me and walked to the table near my window.

_No use trying to sleep now. Might as well do something else._

Somewhere on the other side of the castle, there was a faint sound of a blast and smoke rose up to the sky.

_Anissina, her inventions and her lab rat. Serves you right, Brother_, I thought, smiling to myself.

But then Gwendal is lucky... at least his situation isn't as confusing.

Anissina would always invent silly things; Gwendal would always be her lab rat. (Unless he managed to escape in time and Gunter, the poor thing, would take his place.)

It was a constant cycle. Their roles, clearly defined. They didn't have to think of what to do next, how to act when this or that happened. It was predictable. _It was easy_.

What of me and Yuuri?

It seemed that every time I run to Yuuri, he runs the opposite direction. Sometimes, we would be running together.

I move closer to him and he flinches. At times, he doesn't seem to mind taking my hand.

He would risk his life to save mine but when I was about to offer him everything and he suddenly gets _familiar_ with another girl.

So I did the most rational thing a sane person would do: I let him go.

Let go of the person you love, and if he returns, it's meant to be. Or something like that.

I thought the pain would end when I decided to give up.

...I was wrong.

-----

I remember a story that Mother once told me.

We were on the balcony, and she was holding me in her lap. She was pointing out the stars and telling me their names. (Although now that I think about it, I think she was making it up. Which astronomer in his right mind would name a star "Pinky-toe blush blush"?)

A star fell and I excitedly pointed it out to her. We made a wish, but now I couldn't remember exactly what about.

"Mother, why do stars fall?" I asked, with all the curiosity of a child.

"Because people like to make wishes a lot and stars don't have a choice but to fall, to make them come true," she replied gently.

"But that's awful!"

"Yes it is. So don't make wishes any more than necessary."

"…But Mother, where do they go when they fall? Do they die?"

"Hmmm... I don't really know Wolf-chan…"

"But if I catch them before they hit the ground... they'll be alright, right? Right? Mother?"

"Of course, they'll be okay Wolf-chan," replied with the patience that I, unfortunately, did not inherit.

"But they'll be burning when they fall right? I have to be prepared to catch them Mother!"

"Yes, Wolf-chan," Mother replied, with a laugh. "You will have to do that."

-----

Yuuri was walking towards the portal, the last portal connecting Shin Makoku and Earth.

I knew that if he went away now, I'll never be able to see him again. I know I can't make him stay.

I called out his name, tears freely falling down my face.

_Don't go._

Yuuri turned to me, with the saddest eyes. I felt something in me break into a hundred pieces.

He was saying something that I couldn't hear but I was able to make out the words from the way he said it.

"Wolfram… You asked me to go."

My heart was pounding so loudly I can almost hear it echo in my room.

I opened my eyes. It was morning.


	6. Chapter 6

_Where the hell is he? He can't possibly miss this meeting just because he's avoiding me, _I thought as I pace back and forth the room.

I hear the scratches from Gwendal's quill and the sound of a page being turned in Conrad's book. Conrad and Gwendal were sitting comfortably in the table.

And here I am pacing, already covering the whole room.

"The weather is surprisingly nice today," Gwendal commented, looking out the window.

"Yes, it is. Summer came a bit early this year," Conrad added, his eyes not leaving his book.

A vein popped in my head.

"Where… is… His Majesty Yuuri?" I finally asked, trying (and failing) to keep my voice as calm as I can.

There was a moment of silence. I think I'm about to lose my mind.

"His Majesty… decided to go back to Earth today," Gwendal replied slowly.

I stare at him stupidly.

"Why Wolfram… Did he not tell you?" Conrad asked, looking up from his book, feigning a surprised look. But I know better, the smile gave it away.

"I… err... "

I look at Gwendal and then back at Conrad. They were looking at me, obviously amused.

"Of course I know!" I replied defensively. "Why wouldn't I know?"

"Yes, Wolfram. Why wouldn't you?" Gwendal said, resting his chin in the back of his left hand.

I cleared my throat. "I hear Greta calling me. I will leave this room," I said, walking slowly towards the door. "... and you will not talk about me in my absence."

I can imagine them exchanging a look but I didn't have the time to check.

I was already running, as I stepped out the door.

----

It was the first night we were back in Shin Makoku. Yuuri has not spoken a word to me.

Not even once. Not even a hello.

"It doesn't make any sense at all!"

I was holding my head in my hands. Then I saw Conrad's hands, he was handing me a towel.

"I'm not crying!"

"…You have a smudge of paint… Here," he replied, pointing to my forehead.

"What are you doing here with me anyway? Why aren't you going after Yuuri like you usually do?" I asked, looking at him suspiciously.

"I figured that His Majesty does not need my guidance… regarding these matters."

"And I do?!"

"Don't make the same mistakes as I did, Wolfram."

I sighed and shook my head. "He confuses me."

"He's from another world, of course he'll be confusing," Conrad replied. "But you can't just let go like that, without telling him the real reason why."

I kept silent. Conrad, I must admit, has a point.

"…Did you… Did you tell Julia?"

Conrad turned to me, "We can talk about my issues some other time."

He was smiling but his eyes were sad.

"Just let me be your despised older brother for today."

"I don't really hate you." I said quickly, regretting asking that question. "Not that much anyway."

"I know."

And then I told him everything.

----

What will I say to Yuuri when I see him?

_If you'll even find him, _a voice echoed in my mind.

_I don't know. I don't know. Just. Please. Don't let me be too late._

I found him eventually. He was standing on the edge of the fountain. He had his back to me.

"Yuuri!!" I cried out, but he didn't seem to hear me. Tears were threatening to fall, they were blurring my vision.

He crouched down, and reached out his hands towards the water.

_No. No. Wait. A little more. Just wait. PLEASE._

A few more feet and I'll be able to reach him.

"Yuuri!!!" I called again, my voice hoarse. I remember my dream and my chest tightened.

This time, he turned around surprised. He was holding something in his hand, it glittered as it reflected the sunlight.

"…Wolfram? What are you-"

_Huh?_

I reached him at last… but it didn't _exactly_happen as I imagined it to. In my mind, I will grab his hand, and he'll smile and say my name in a whisper. He'll come down from the edge of the fountain and the scene will end in a hug...

But as I said, that's not how it happened.

I grabbed his arm as he was standing up. I slipped with all the gracefulness of a cow, my years of training failing me.

Yuuri wasn't able to bear my weight, he was barely standing as I crashed into him.

And as if it wasn't appalling enough, we fell - unceremoniously, I might add - on the fountain.

In the end, this is how we looked: I was on my knees, still holding on to his arm (I am not letting go this time). I was on top of him and he was lying on his back, half-immersed in the water.

I stare at him in awe. He didn't disappear in a swirl of water. My jaw dropped several feet to the ground, if that was even possible.

"I thought… You were… to the water.. I thought.. Leaving. But I… I guess not…?" I was gawking at him, all the elegance and dignity of a noble forgotten.

Yuuri was staring back at me, with big eyes. He was obviously stunned. I sniffed and blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall a few seconds ago.

"…I… err.. Decided to stay for a while longer."

"Oh."

This is probably the most awkward moment in Shin Makoku history. Worse than that one time I caught Gwendal speaking in weird baby talk to his plush toys. Or the first time Conrad tried (disastrously) to crack a joke.

For a moment, neither of us spoke. Birds were chirping in the distance.

"But... But you were holding your hand out to the water!" I suddenly spurted out.

"I dropped my necklace."

"Oh."

I glanced at his hand and he was indeed holding Julia's necklace. I wish the ground would swallow me alive.

"Sir von Bielefield? What are you doing-? Your Majesty?!" It was Gisela.

Suddenly, both of us were aware of our current position in the fountain… and how _awkward_ it might have looked to anyone.

"Wha-? We were… I was… You know? He was… Just.. We… I… it's not..." I trailed on weakly, Gisela was staring at us and I'm sure there are several _thoughts_ running in her mind right now.

_Oh for heaven's sake Wolfram, get a grip._

And then Yuuri tried to stand up, but as I was still in shock, I didn't move. He hit his head in mine.

"Hey! OUCH!"

I sat up, rubbing my head.

"I thought I'd never see the day you'll run out of words."

I turn to Yuuri and stared at him like an idiot. He broke into laughter.

Gisela had her hands to her mouth and giggling as well.

At that moment, the sun seemed brighter, the wind less harsh. It feels as if someone suddenly lifted the burden I've been carrying for weeks.

I found myself laughing with them.

----

Soon, it was night again.

_Time passes quickly these days_, I thought as I stood on the balcony, looking out over the rest of Shin Makoku. I hear Yuuri's footsteps behind me.

"Wolfram?"

"Your Majesty," I said, stepping aside and bowing my head slightly in respect.

I look up and saw Yuuri with his eyebrows raised.

I laugh as I whack him in the shoulder. "You wimp!"

Yuuri grins, finally getting the idea. "I missed you, y'know. Somehow it just feels different without you pestering me every minute of the day."

"Same here."

We stood there, looking at everywhere but each other. It was getting awkward by the minute.

"You should have asked me. Before making any decisions. How would you know what I wanted?"

"You talked to Conrad." I stated. It wasn't even an accusation.

"Well… It can't be helped."

Both of us look up at the night sky.

"A falling star! Wolfram, make a wish quick!"

"Hmm… Do you know why stars fall?"

"What?"

"It's because people makes too many wishes and they have no choice but to fall, so those wishes can come true," I continued, closing my eyes as I remember my Mother's words.

"Well.. That may be right…"

I glance at Yuuri, he still had his eyes on the sky.

"But… if I was a star… I'd want to fall and make those wishes come true. I bet it's too hard to live up there in the sky for too long anyway. And spaceships can crash on you anytime."

I kept quiet. That's a different way to put things in perspective. And... what the hell are spaceships?

"Wolfram… do you want me to slap you right now?"

"What?!"

He gazed away from the night sky and looked at me seriously. I avoided his eyes.

"I mean… You don't have to. Don't worry about it."

"If it will make everything back to normal…"

"I said don't worry about it."

"Sorry."

"Wimp," I muttered.

"Well, at least, that part of you is back," He said with a laugh.

I stare at my shoe.

"Yuuri… I realized… I mean… With you.. I…"

_Well, it's now or never_.

I cleared my throat.

"With you.. I realized that I don't have to rush things. So..."

"No," Yuuri said softly.

I dared to look at him right in the eyes for the first time, in as long as I can remember.

He was walking towards me.

He was smiling, "You don't have to rush anything."


End file.
